looking forward (lessons from TKD)

Last week at taekwondo we worked on a partner drill.  She’d throw a front roundhouse at me and then I’d throw a back-kick at her and she’d hopefully have skip-stepped to the side out of the way.  

I have a solid back-kick but they were not working well that night - biggest thing I wasn’t turning my head fast enough or at all (to actually look where I was kicking) so was basically kicking blind. 

When my coach pointed that out I said - but then I don’t get scared about her next kick coming at me. Then I laughed (a little, nervously) at how little sense that made - that I’d rather not see something coming so I don’t have to react to it, almost guaranteeing a nasty surprise.  

The next day at work I scheduled an appointment with my boss to discuss what’s happening with my job.  Not so I worry excessively, but so I can be prepared and ready to respond (and sidestep any metaphorical kicks to the head).

So that's me - the last couple of weeks have been busy at work and I alternate working my tail off and swinging to not giving a damn. But I know neither are healthy options; professionally, physically or mentally. 

So here's to looking forward and facing what comes!  Assah!

Counter back-kick here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XLpHO7AdGM

need to vent - having a mope

My boss told me today funding for my job has been cut. She prefaced this by saying she’s working figuring out something so I’m not likely unemployed in the next few months. I trust her and I know she values my work. 

So there’s the future unemployment (or down to part-time) worry facing me, but right now it’s the ego hit. 

It’s hard to not take it as a judgement on me and take it personally. The idea that my work is deemed unnecessary, unworthy of funding, makes it seem like the effort, stress, creativity, energy that I’ve put in is well unworthy. 

Anyway, I’ll take a day or two to mope and then move on and keep doing what I so, so enjoy as long as I can. 

Or 16+ infinite of "the Carib-farm diet"

I haven't had time to get to a grocery store yet (none is walking distance) so I've not yet started the 16+1 plan.  However I have reverted back to what I refer to as my Carib-farm diet, what I ate on vacation for two weeks. I came back with great skin, and was temporarily back in my goal jeans.

A few years ago I did a strict no sugar thing (really, the first 10 days were even fruit free) and while it was helpful for health and useful for weightloss, it was hard to be social that way and I found any deviation resulted in a migraine.

The Carib-farm diet (like my Medi-farm diet) was more about simple, close to source food with a good mix of veggies, meat and even breads.  My daily meals at the Carib-farm were predictable -

• 8:30am - bread with butter and jam, dried cranberries (to take with my iron pill) 
• 12:30pm - constant was a big mixed green and veggie salad, rice, and pineapple for dessert. The entre varried (chicken curry, fried fishcakes, frittata, ground beef with fried cheese)
• 8:00pm - often veg and barley soup, or pasta with homemade spaghetti sauce.

And maybe at some point in the day I'd have a piece of fresh fruit (orange off the tree, more pineapple) or coconut...but not every day and I don't remember feeling hungry. I'm sure the heat affected my appetite as well but because of that I was drinking lots of water so I think there was a lot of factors that contributed.  I came back 3 pounds lighter and with that lovely holiday glow that comes from relaxtion (and good, healthy food).

So that's another approach I'm considering instead of the 16+1 diet.  I'll admit part of it is I worry and doubt that I can stick to a rigid plan (even for just 18-1 days) and I've long thought it unfair and pointless to set yourself (or myself as the case may be) up for failture.  So, I am still in the thinking/considering/pondering stage.

Good habits and another use for hockey tape

Hockey tape was the answer to my recent TKD problem of finding something to protect my feet but not land me on my behind, during last class's umpteen kicks. It kept the band-aid in place (friction burn from all the kick's last week) and allowed me to pivot.

So yay - and hockey tape is pretty ubiquitious in my rural northern town.  I also got over my fear of a certain kick (the move I tore my ACL on).  I was nervous, my hands were actually shaking before hand but after a few misses, I landed some strong ones and will only get better with practice.

Also after reading this article on creating routine and habits for success I'm making a few more minor changes. Making water drinking a habit (when I wake up, when I get in to work, before I leave work, etc.) and also taking a stronger look at my diet, I am a pretty healthy eater - veggies are some of my favourite things on the planet but I was also eatin more sweet treats than my body can handle if I want to lose weight. I'm of the philosophy that some are fine but I don't want to be counter-productive.

Need oxygen not water...but thank you

Well - long story short, I didn't yak but there were several moments I wanted to lay down and just be still.

I got changed and hung off to the side, one shy-looking gal (15?) came up to me and asked if I was trying out the class. I was not the oldest, they were mostly teens but a few I'd estimate around my age and one grandmother who is almost a black belt - yay for her!.

 A little side bar - I haven't done TKD for years, not since my coach (and friend) died in an accident. He was a phenominal instructor and made the club feel like a team, which isn't easy to do with in individual sport where you sometimes compete against each other.  I was nervous standing there for the introduction and telling my old club as it had a very high reputation and I felt a little added pressure (self-inflicted).

We started with jogging then lunge walks, hops, kicks and burpees. I have trouble pacing myself...I don't know how to modulate to a 70% effort and my brain thinks I'm still in shape though it's been a decade since I last did this stuff or a year since I did any kind of high intensity exercise. So I did what the rest of the class was doing, until I had to catch my breath and stop the spins. The instructor came up and suggested I take a break and get some water...but it was something more than that - I had trouble getting all the air in I needed. I felt so hot, like lay in the snow kind of hot.  I went to the bathroom twice to put water on my wrists and neck and to hold off the dry heaves. It was pretty rough feeling.  

On my second trip to the bathroom I thought...this is it - this stinks, I hate feeling this way. Why would I do this? I'm not coming back, the club isn't as good as my old one, they are mostly meathead teen boys here to hit things and each other hard, some of the higher belts have pretty sloppy form, no one knows Korean (my other club was big on using Korean terms and traditions), I just don't wanna do it.

I decided to finish the class (pride) and then I'd just not come back.  By then the higher intensity stuff was mostly over, so I could finish up with them and it was ok, other members came up after we finished and told me how hard their first times were and were so nice and encouraging and all “see you Wedenseday?” that somehow I found myself saying yep - see you then. 

So I’m going back…I get a little shiver thinking of it but I just have to “pull up my big girl panties and suck it up” and not let the little things throw me off.  And I can't go back to my old club, and I have to stop trying to go back in time, to hold on to something that's over (says she of the blog titled specifically trying to do just that). And not just because that time has past but because I miss out on so much that's in front of me because I'm looking back.

So on to tomorrow!

And I’ll be better prepared

• Eat at least 2 hours before to give it time to settle
• More water during the day
• Wear something the breaths
• Do only 2/3 the rep of the class
• Concentrate on form not velocity in kicks

The more the merrier

I’ve been naval-gazing lately and thinking about what has “worked” for me in the past in terms of health and fitness.  And also what hasn’t worked. 

I’ve enjoyed and got the most from exercise when it was through a team sport or group classes (ultimate frisbee, running room, TKD clubl).  And not as much by going to a gym or running on my own. I don't seem to stick with it or put the same effort in.  And as I'm also trying to improve my social life I'm on the hunt for another class/club to add to the belly dance. 

The choices are slim in a small town (besides yoga and hockey) but I'm going to check out a taekwondo club on Monday. They look good on the website; organized and with legit credentials. I’m looking forward to it, if a little nervous… it’s been 10 years since I took a class. And I'm out of shape. But, but...I've got to stop letting "being out of shape" keep me from doing things that will "get me in shape". 

And I've already decided I'll just say at the start that I won't be sparring. I was always more a fan of the pad kicking and the forms, the fighting - meh. I wasn't very good at it either.  

I can still count to 10 in Korean and give the important yell - which kind of ends up sounding like “Ah-soo” or an accented a**hole.  So really - I’m all set.