I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why people sometimes say and do the things they do. Correction, I often think about this but I think I’m coming to some realizations. And one of those is that everyone else isn’t perfect. I know I’m not, but I have a habit of putting people on pedestals. I don’t think about the fact that others are also still figuring out life and making mistakes along the way. Which means I set unreasonable expectations for others and are disappointed and also is harder on myself than is healthy.
I have a colleague that came to me the day before the valedictorian address and wanted to discuss the content of the speech. Though she hadn’t read it, she was quite adamant about the complaints she would receive (she did my job years ago) if certain elements weren’t included and that I was new and didn’t know how things go. I tried to assure it was a quality speech and that I consulted two managers (she is no longer one). It was frustrating until in a sudden flash I realized this was more about her than me or even the speech. Her worries, her sense of responsibility, her lack of trust in others. It’s not pleasant to get complaints in the past. And I think she’s still holding on to that and not recognizing it’s ok to let go of it – to pass the responsibility on. And so I was able to say if you get any, direct them to me and I’ll respond. I'm quite willing to take that on and respond if necessary.
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| Source: http://www.notefromlapland.com/2011/01/only-human.html |
So while previously I would have taken this as a slag to my capabilities or arrogance on hers. I am rethinking that this colleague is also still figuring things out, learning to relinquish control and responsibility and finding her own role at work. I have to remember that we all are and to be understanding and accepting of that.
I’ve long known that I will make mistakes, though I am still learning to be accepting and forgiving of that. And now I see how freeing it is as well to see others in a more understanding and accepting light.
Now what does this have to do with fitting a pair of jeans bought in April…I dunno but I know every time I lighten the weight on my mind and spirit – it can only be a positive – and that’s the bigger goal and mandate of this blog.
Enjoy the song - Jason Mraz's Only Human
Spreading positive energy is addicting and it's contagious. Give out a couple compliments and see how it changes the mood of your office. See people for their strengths instead of their flaws.... see yourself for the same. This was a really good post! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks.
ReplyDeleteYou're right - compliments are contagious. My last workplace was a negative environment and I stopped being "suzy sunshine" so got out of the practice but now this is the place to bring it back. And the more you give and take compliments the more natural it becomes.