Penny wise and pound foolish

I think it's really important to enjoy the "little things" and take "simple pleasures" but at the same time I hope and want to focus on the big picture and not get caught up in the "small stuff".  Like not stressing about an occasional treat when I overall eat quite healthy or not feeling bad about a lazy day when I'm usually active.   It's figuring out what's worth the effort and what is not. 

This thought was prompted by my reflections/ruminations on the actions of a friend, my former roommate. I recently moved out of my shared house to a place on my own.  The last couple of weeks - she's been rather petty.  Asking about a missing piece of tupperware or emailing me to say she found a broken cup (not replacing it but like she wants me to deal with it). Mind you we still have some big bills to work out but she seems more focused (fixated) on the little things rather than hundreds of dollars. 

I'm going to let a day pass before I respond because my immediate response was to be pissed off and I starting thinking about a rant I wanted to lay on her.  This of course is not positive and totally counter to what I described I'm seeking above. 

Anyway - that's me - rambling instead here but not taking it further. 

A Lucky Duck

I am one.

Lately I’ve traveled, I’ve made new friends, I've learned many things about union and contract negotiations, activism, beginner Spanish, how to surf, a technique called appreciative inquiry, about Parelli horsemanship,. 

And I’m getting better at sorting the chaff from the wheat in life. 

I really appreciate that I’ve had the opportunity to see and do and learn.  And that when that opportunity came - that I took it. 

Time flies when... you’re living life

I find blogging is a habit and I got out of it, I'd like to get back into it. 

The pros

• I still have a job.
• I’ve kept up with tkd and bellydance classes and enjoy each sooooo much.
• I met a fella, had a crush and did some making out.
• My hair is legitamate pony tail length now.
• I’ve started to learn Spanish (slowly).
• I’m planning a trip, time to take that overtime that has built up.  

The cons

• My job has changed, I enjoy it less now though I’m happy to still be around my coworkers.
• I got hurt in tkd and it reminded me I no longer bounce like I did at 17
• I’ve been feeling discontent and having a major urge to make a change (job, apartment, city?)
• I haven’t heard from crush (above) in over 2 months.
• I’ve been pretty boring with food and recipes - everything I cook seems to turn into the same dish (lots of turnip and cabbage)
• I’ve tried unsuccessfully to plan a few outings with friends, and they are no-shows. The same friends who say there is never anything to do in our small town and that they don’t see me much.

Anyway, overall things are good. I can build on the pros and mitigate the cons with both my actions and reactions.  So yah, that’s what I’m going to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IP9h40z0sk 

looking forward (lessons from TKD)

Last week at taekwondo we worked on a partner drill.  She’d throw a front roundhouse at me and then I’d throw a back-kick at her and she’d hopefully have skip-stepped to the side out of the way.  

I have a solid back-kick but they were not working well that night - biggest thing I wasn’t turning my head fast enough or at all (to actually look where I was kicking) so was basically kicking blind. 

When my coach pointed that out I said - but then I don’t get scared about her next kick coming at me. Then I laughed (a little, nervously) at how little sense that made - that I’d rather not see something coming so I don’t have to react to it, almost guaranteeing a nasty surprise.  

The next day at work I scheduled an appointment with my boss to discuss what’s happening with my job.  Not so I worry excessively, but so I can be prepared and ready to respond (and sidestep any metaphorical kicks to the head).

So that's me - the last couple of weeks have been busy at work and I alternate working my tail off and swinging to not giving a damn. But I know neither are healthy options; professionally, physically or mentally. 

So here's to looking forward and facing what comes!  Assah!

Counter back-kick here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XLpHO7AdGM

need to vent - having a mope

My boss told me today funding for my job has been cut. She prefaced this by saying she’s working figuring out something so I’m not likely unemployed in the next few months. I trust her and I know she values my work. 

So there’s the future unemployment (or down to part-time) worry facing me, but right now it’s the ego hit. 

It’s hard to not take it as a judgement on me and take it personally. The idea that my work is deemed unnecessary, unworthy of funding, makes it seem like the effort, stress, creativity, energy that I’ve put in is well unworthy. 

Anyway, I’ll take a day or two to mope and then move on and keep doing what I so, so enjoy as long as I can. 

bike ride proof

Finally found the cord and got this uploaded. 

where to go for a 5km ride?

Well today was busy at work and though it rained in the morning (and I got wet in light grey pants on my way to the office) it was lovely by end of day so I knew I had to get in my bike ride for Julie's challenge.  Thanks for the reminder Julie

First obstacle, finding a 5km route wasn't going to be simple since I was avoiding the highway and didn't want to repeat many hills. I made a loop or two some side streets but got to about 5km. (#smalltowngalproblems)

At the moment my memory card is stuck in my camera but I'll try and hook it up via the cord at my work and upload pics from the ride.

Today was a great day - met the new group, had some laughs and surprised my mom with a pair of earrings she had been looking at on the weekend.

Promises, promises

I am sitting in my office, about to head home, it's midnight and I work 9-5. But today, because work is getting busy and people are on vacation, I needed to put in extra time.

I promised last semester that I wouldn't get into this habit again, but here I am.
I did take a break today from 5-8pm for food and taekwondo (so much fun, he had us doing fun relays and games) so that is part of the promise I made myself - to not miss out on the good stuff, the important stuff for work.

So it is a half-kept promise and I'm working on it.
Also working on getting through the ups and downs. The last few weeks have connecting with friends and family and enjoying the bike rides, bellydance, beach and different work projects.  And then Monday was a blah day, so was Tuesday and yesterday - I had a time shaking the feeling that something wasn't right.  So I gave myself a little peptalk - said this would pass and it did.

So while I'd rather not be sitting here - it's ok, and I'm heading home now.

Henna tattoo

She said usually men get this design - but I think I got the pipes to pull it off.

Real spring cleanse

I’ve been on a break lately. I ditched my calorie and carb counting habits and we had no internet at home for a few weeks so I found other things to do in the evenings like bike rides and I got to bed earlier consistently – I’m thinking of it as a spring cleanse. 

I have been feeling really good about my fitness and appearance.  I still play around with recipes and new foods (ideas for okra anyone? Any good food sources of Vitamin E?). I can tell from the fit of clothes that I’m not slimming but I’ve been able to do hills more easily lately on my bike. And I’m getting faster again at TKD speed drills. 

I haven’t been on the scale in a while but I was curious so I weighed myself this morning (last three mornings actually) and the result – up 6 pounds from the start of the month.  And you know what - I don’t care, I know I’m eating well and am active and feeling good and an “overweight” BMI is no measure of that. I’ve decided that as I’m healthy I’m going to try and stay away from the scale and stop evaluating my fitness and my appearance based on it or whether or not I fit in a pair of jeans.

I read this book a couple of years ago but it just sunk in a couple of weeks ago (http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-973/10-Powerful-Quotes-from-Women-Food-and-God.html) but, but, but I’m not trying to preach or convert anyone. This is an individual thing and it's because what I was doing wasn’t working for me in that it wasn’t making me happier. I was spending too much brain energy on calculating and tracking and time on worrying about how and when and if I’d fit them again.  Rather than what my real goal was – to feel good. And since I feel that without the jeans so be it. Maybe I’ll frame them with pics from my trip and make some sort of “collage” .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U

A picture was worth a thousand words

I saw a photo last week that has made me pause and rethink some things.

It was actually a series of pictures of me in a pool with my 80-something grandmother.  They were taken during a visit last summer when I felt unhappy about being out of shape, unhappy with my body.

They’re silly pics as we’re both wearing big matching sunhats and oversized sunglasses.  In the first my grandmother is making a humourous exaggerated pose – shoulders back, chest out, stomach in.  And the next one we’re both laughing and the third one is the two of us, smiling looking at the camera.

I was struck by a couple of thoughts as I looked at the pictures and thought about that visit

·         I love her lots and am so lucky to still have her alive

·         How great it is that she is still active 

·         How I didn’t look awful, in fact I think I look quite ok and wish I wasn’t so hard on myself then (and now)

·         How when I'm 80-something I don't want to still be counting carbs and calculating calories burned

It’s the final two that are new realizations, and that have caused the greatest shift in my thoughts, I want to absorb them and hold on to them. 

So I don't know what I'm doing with this blog - a reworking of some sort is required - I'll be back.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's

Day 23/34
I am sitting here feeling an awful afternoon slump. Like put my head on my door and snooze for 20mins slump.  I just feel “ugh” and I’m wondering what caused it so I can stop it and prevent future ones.  Sleep – usual, morning walk – brief as my roommate gave me a lift due to rain, water intake - normal , food – I did have small piece of cake and some dried guava – I thought neither were enough to bother me but I may be wrong. 
Last weigh in was the same as a week ago – I guess the additional carbs are slowing down things, I’ll give it the rest of the week to see if I need to shake things up so I can continue losing.  I have noticed some difference in appearence but only on my face and maybe arms (if I sorta squint)- it’s like the weight has melted… measurements confirm this so I’m still not comfortably in the jeans.  Hmm maybe it’s not the 16+1 plan so much as gravity taking a rapid hold on me.

Anyway  - I’m getting creative again with food – I made a “faux tapioca” pudding with chia seeds, protein powder and almond milk – then ate it with some defrosted frozen cherries – delicious.

And I made a delicious veggie bake/lasagna on the weekend and had it for lunch today and it was so good and several co-workers asked for the recipe.  So I thought I’d share it with you.

Ingredients

• Tofu
• Turnip
• Cream cheese (I used a tofu derived version)
• Tomato sauce
• Raw spinach
• Broth
• Shredded mozzarella

Cut turnip and tofu in slices (half inch?) and boil/fry in broth (in ¼ cup doses as it evaporates) until a fork can pierce the turnip but not soft.
In a casserole dish layer :
Tomato sauce, cooked turnip, then spread tofu and spinach (together in one layer so it’s not a solid tofu layer), “cream cheese”, repeat.   I put some dairy cheese on top and some extra sauce around the sides and another ¼ cup of broth.
Bake at 350 for 20 minutes covered with tin foil and then broil for 5 minutes to brown the top.
Enjoy!

Day 15 - and good things are still happening

I’ve been feeling good and as my roommate is away and the weather is lovely and warm I’ve been wandering around the place wearing less clothes than usual and enjoying checking myself out in the mirror.  *http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-qN6TCY85c (1:57).
 
And even with the expected off-plan days and the day of unstoppable snacking described in the last post, the scale reads 5 pounds less than before I started this whole 16+1 thing.  I don’t remember ever having a healthy type of loss like this before.

Now how much of it is “water weight” and how much loss is stored body fat… no idea, whatever, something’s happening and in a good way. 

I'll continue with my modified plan and then start working in more exercise. My leg is getting better too with physio so I’m looking to get back to TKD in June.

Today was Victoria Day, so a holiday ("the 24th of May is the Queen's birthday!" or nearabouts) I had my family and a good friend over for dinner. I made a greek salad and a chicken coconut curry.  It was fantabulous, if I do say so myself.  Not exactly as perscribed but I did skip the rice.  Recipes like that are pretty easy to adapt, so I can keep to a lower carb plan and still be social with meals.

One down side is my eczema has acted up in the last few days (maybe all the alterna-milks) so I'll keep an eye on that.

So I can’t count and shoulda knocked on wood

It is now day 12 and within a few hours of writing that I could see this being long term I wanted to eat ev-er-y-thing!

My day was supposed to go like this
Breakfast: Smoothie ( choc almond milk, banana, blueberries, soy protein, kefir)
Snack: 3 dates
Lunch: Veggie ground round, red beans, half cob of corn, green salad with red peppers and feta
Snack: “Super yogurt”
Dinner: Chicken, veg, coconut, curry sort of soup.

I had that plus, plus, plus - I tried to pace myself with water and herbal teas but it only temporarliy slowed me down.

Also add: dried mango, papaya, strawberries, and a Kenyan puffed wheat snack, more dates, and in the evening a second helping of the soup, fresh coconut, then made up a peanut butter/cocoa/coconut treat (will refine and post recipe - not bad actually), and then a sort of tofu cream cheese /kefir/chocolate pudding. And then dark sea salt chocolate, even more dates and topped it off with a handful of cinnimon hearts.

It came to around 160 protein, 160 carbs, 50 fats, 2200 calories. The day is over, it was off-the-wagon (not just off-plan) but I’m going to hope that’s enough to convince my body there’s no famine and it will chill out the next couple of days (I'm sure I've read a theory like that).  Hoping, hoping, hoping. And I’ll have to get my head back in the game  because it really is a mind game with myself (and really only me).  Game on, game on, game on. 

Song of the day: Amii Stewart's Knock on Wood http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ztZ7WFo3nw

10/17 or Spring cleanse

Today a colleague who has started the 17dd asked me if I was looking forward to day 18.  But in the last few days I’ve been thinking this style of eating is something I may keep.  Because I’m not following it as prescribed I’m not worried about the negative results of a long term low carb or low calorie diet. (bad breath from ketosis, nutrition gaps, constipation, underweight).  So in the next cycle (days 18-34) I’m curious to note what adding certain foods to my diet will do to my energy and hunger levels and my general feeling of wellness. 

Even with the total exceptions to the guidelines that I’ve had (mother’s day and today some of the treats of a visiting international students) I have a sense of accomplishment of making a plan and following through with it. Especially for someone like me who ponders and debates and dithers a lot before I ever actually do something. (Seriously, I’ve done decision trees for my personal life)

What is interesting is other people’s reactions.  My immediate family is understanding, they know I felt better a couple of years ago on a low sugar diet. But some friends and acquaintances are less helpful even if they mean well.  My roommate, who has done it (down 10 pounds through cycle 3) and helpful in some ways has also made a few quips about my alterations to the plan, but that’s her issue not mine. (gosh look at me, all mature and wise)

What I don’t know how to respond to is other acquaintences.  If/when asked (I used to rarely eat salads at work) and I say I’m doing the 16+1 day thing a common response is “diets don’t work” or “ you don’t need to diet/ lose weight”.  And then I feel the need to justify myself and I worry that I’ll say something that makes it seem like I think they should lose weight too.  But it’s so individual – there are several friends/colleagues whose physique (smaller and larger than mine) or features I admire and yet they may have things they don’t like or want to change.  So I’ve started saying (when asked) I’m doing a “spring cleanse”, that seems to have a more neutral reaction.

Lying hips and truthful scales

According to astrology, jeans, my go to tkd kick and my inner Shakira the hips and thighs are my focus point, my strongest body part and the most fun to shake. However a visit to physio this morning told me that maybe my hips aren’t so strong or stable. I've been having knee pain in tkd and taking a break from it and last week when I joined a group during a round dance (like in this video), my legs were really aching.

So I'm on a plan to do some stretching, strengthening and realigning to reverse the impact of a tight IT band and some weaker muscles. I hope to be back at TKD by the end of May which will coincide nicely with a transition from the most restrictive 16+1 day diet cycle to stage two with more carbs and calories.

I am still feeling good on this plan – sometimes hungry if I don’t plan for snacks but still feeling energetic and not missing the restricted foods too much. (not bread at all which surprises me but definitely oatmeal and chocolate)   

And I'm down 2 pounds in the first 7 days. That even included a rather off-day on Saturday at my grandmother's. For lunch she made seafood chowder, specially without onions for me, and biscuits. I ate the chowder and had spinach salad but passed on the biscuits. And then dinner was lobster*, potato salad and chocolate cheesecake for dessert. I see my grandmother less than once a month so it’s worth it to go off-plan. After all this is a lifestyle not just a diet.

Hope you had a great week!


* Lobster is a tradition for our family on Mother's and Father's day but not so extravagant a one as I live on the coast. We buy it from our cousin, a lobster fisherman or at the wharf. Bought live, cooked outside in a big pot in sea water so it's fresh and sweet tasting. We cover the dining table with newspaper and put out a couple of bowls for shells and dig in.

day 5 - note

I haven't been sleeping as much as usual because I keep waking up early- and yet I am feeling energized.  Normally I am a great sleeper and feel blah if I have less than 7.5 but yesterday on 7 hours I was kind of buzzing but in a happy productive way not a substance abuse way.

My roommate guessed it was the green tea that's a big part of the 16+1 day diet, but I haven't been drinking it. I'm not a fan though I did buy some other kinds to experiement with.

I was very hungry the first two days but the last three, not so much; I think I've worked out a better plan with my meals and snacks so I'm doing well.

Yesterday as example - calories about 1250

Breakfast - smoothie - yogurt, kefir, unsweetened almond milk, 1/4 cup blueberries, 1/3 banana
Morning snack - 5 almonds
Lunch - cup and a half of grilled asparagus and kale with nutritional yeast (kind of cheesy taste, good iron) and 4oz lean pork chop that had been baked in 1/4 cup applejuice.  "Super yogurt" = yogurt, kefir, teaspoon of flaxseed oil, 3 prunes
Afternoon snack - blackberres
Dinner - olive and feta scrambled eggs
Evening - big mug of unsweetened almond milk with stevia

So that's me - no weigh-ins until a week, that was a good piece of advice from a friend, it was a bad habit.

Good luck all and enjoy the weekend (if it's a break for you)

Day 1/34

I thought (after musing, pondering, debating, humming and hawing) that I'd give this 16+1 day diet a try, at least the first two cycles.  As I want to make lasting changes and will be exercising more than is recommended I won't be following it to the letter. So I will have fruit after 2pm and eat some non-probiotic yogurt and other oils in addition to olive and flax. 

I know that because of this I am likely to have less substantial weightloss than my friends (examples from earlier post), which is fine.  I'm hoping/planning for a 6 pound loss by day 35.

Day 1
breakfast - 2 boiled eggs* and red pepper
20 min walk to work
lunch - cabbage/broccoli/red pepper/ hummus salad with yogurt/flaxseed/blueberries
30 min walk
afternoon snack - almonds and vanilla almond milk
early dinner - smoked herring kippers with lemon juice and green tea
dinner - two sausages, broccoli, fried in chicken broth with garlic and lemon juice, asparagus soup and 3 prunes
Fitday.com says I'm at 1500 calories.  My feelings so far - ok but I am hungry, and my calories are not that much under my usual (17-1800).  My fat was too high today and I know I need more fresh stuff. The trip to the grocery store tonight will mean getting more protein (lean meat, fish, tofu), pro-biotic yogurt, hummus, flax oil, varied green teas, zevia (stevia pop), fruit and vegetables.  

I'll be posting about once a week as work is getting busy but I will still be following your blogs and wishing you the best (in your day, challenges, goals, successes).

Today's song to remind me to recognize the little changes and only take on a bit at a time - Step by Step - (NKOTB) - look at those dance moves!

Or 16+ infinite of "the Carib-farm diet"

I haven't had time to get to a grocery store yet (none is walking distance) so I've not yet started the 16+1 plan.  However I have reverted back to what I refer to as my Carib-farm diet, what I ate on vacation for two weeks. I came back with great skin, and was temporarily back in my goal jeans.

A few years ago I did a strict no sugar thing (really, the first 10 days were even fruit free) and while it was helpful for health and useful for weightloss, it was hard to be social that way and I found any deviation resulted in a migraine.

The Carib-farm diet (like my Medi-farm diet) was more about simple, close to source food with a good mix of veggies, meat and even breads.  My daily meals at the Carib-farm were predictable -

• 8:30am - bread with butter and jam, dried cranberries (to take with my iron pill) 
• 12:30pm - constant was a big mixed green and veggie salad, rice, and pineapple for dessert. The entre varried (chicken curry, fried fishcakes, frittata, ground beef with fried cheese)
• 8:00pm - often veg and barley soup, or pasta with homemade spaghetti sauce.

And maybe at some point in the day I'd have a piece of fresh fruit (orange off the tree, more pineapple) or coconut...but not every day and I don't remember feeling hungry. I'm sure the heat affected my appetite as well but because of that I was drinking lots of water so I think there was a lot of factors that contributed.  I came back 3 pounds lighter and with that lovely holiday glow that comes from relaxtion (and good, healthy food).

So that's another approach I'm considering instead of the 16+1 diet.  I'll admit part of it is I worry and doubt that I can stick to a rigid plan (even for just 18-1 days) and I've long thought it unfair and pointless to set yourself (or myself as the case may be) up for failture.  So, I am still in the thinking/considering/pondering stage.

Why does stress = treats

So I have a few projects piling up at me at work, emails and phone calls coming in - people looking for information I don't have yet or answers to questions I don't know (or haven't found yet but in some cases should have)
And my response - I raid my colleagues chocolate bowl.

Not a walk outside or a stretch or even a deep breath - it's so automatic.  And it doesn't really work - I had a moment, but just a mini-moment, of a relief from work but I'm not really through it. 

That's the response I have to alter if I'm going to get those last couple pounds (4-6 to get in the jeans for real) and stay there. And enough with the back and forth.

This requires more thought than I have right now but it's what I know is my achillies heel.

What is your main challenge(s) to get to what you want shape/fitness/health/weight wise?